I've been at the hospital most of the day. Went in hoping for positive news.
the kidney dr and intensivist ( intensive care dr ) spoke to me first thing. Joe;s condition was deteriorating as of this morning. His kidneys had worsened and fluid was building in his lungs, bp meds were maxed out and his bp was low 70's/40's.
the dr's both told me age was on his side and that they will do any and everything they can to give him a chance - which to me gives hope. If he was so bad that nothing would work, then I would think they would have talked to me more about keeping him as pain free as possible.
they finally got the continual, and extremely gentle dialysis started mid afternoon. The concern was that the dialysis would lower his blood pressure, but without it he wouldn't have much of a chance. Thankfully his bp has stayed steady. It did drop from last nights normal range. This morning it was 70/40 range, when dialysis started it was 80's/50's by the time I left at 6:30 he'd been on the dialysis for 3 hours and his pressure increased to 90/55. He;s still deeply sedated.
its such a small thing to cling to. Other wise nothing else is any better or any worse. I'm so afraid of mornings for many reasons.. this morning being one of them.. my grandfather going thru this with not good results 20 years ago. I have to go on minute by minute.
the minister that married us came to the hospital today and will keep in touch with me and support me regardless of how his recovery goes. My mom worked all night and came to the hospital and stayed with me all day.. my best friend watched JP and my boss got off a plane at noon - and came straight up to the hospital and stayed with me for hours. In addition I have been keeping in contact with many many people via text message updates and am so deeply grateful for all the support, prayers and well wishes.
he's so so sick.. and the outlook can;t be determined yet - there is no guarantee that he will pull thru... there is no guarantee that he won't. which is why I'm living minute to minute.
i'm off to bed now to see if I can get some decent sleep - i'm so worn out