I've been at the hospital most of the day. Went in hoping for positive news.
the kidney dr and intensivist ( intensive care dr ) spoke to me first thing. Joe;s condition was deteriorating as of this morning. His kidneys had worsened and fluid was building in his lungs, bp meds were maxed out and his bp was low 70's/40's.
the dr's both told me age was on his side and that they will do any and everything they can to give him a chance - which to me gives hope. If he was so bad that nothing would work, then I would think they would have talked to me more about keeping him as pain free as possible.
they finally got the continual, and extremely gentle dialysis started mid afternoon. The concern was that the dialysis would lower his blood pressure, but without it he wouldn't have much of a chance. Thankfully his bp has stayed steady. It did drop from last nights normal range. This morning it was 70/40 range, when dialysis started it was 80's/50's by the time I left at 6:30 he'd been on the dialysis for 3 hours and his pressure increased to 90/55. He;s still deeply sedated.
its such a small thing to cling to. Other wise nothing else is any better or any worse. I'm so afraid of mornings for many reasons.. this morning being one of them.. my grandfather going thru this with not good results 20 years ago. I have to go on minute by minute.
the minister that married us came to the hospital today and will keep in touch with me and support me regardless of how his recovery goes. My mom worked all night and came to the hospital and stayed with me all day.. my best friend watched JP and my boss got off a plane at noon - and came straight up to the hospital and stayed with me for hours. In addition I have been keeping in contact with many many people via text message updates and am so deeply grateful for all the support, prayers and well wishes.
he's so so sick.. and the outlook can;t be determined yet - there is no guarantee that he will pull thru... there is no guarantee that he won't. which is why I'm living minute to minute.
i'm off to bed now to see if I can get some decent sleep - i'm so worn out
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Massive heart attack
Friday night I came home from work to see joe on the couch muttering something. I thought he was sleeping and just waking up, then had to go over to him and yell at him 5 or 6 times to get him to repeat himself. He handed me the phone told me he couldn't move and had chest pain.
whats folllowed is a nightmare. Ambulance came and took him so fast that I had to yell to them on where they were taking him ( 3 or 4 local hospitals could have been it ).
got to the ER and couldn't even see him as the room was packed. Had to listen to nurses begging for an ICU room as he was critical.
nurse came out to speak with me and said he was severely ketoacidodic and they also needed to put a breathing tube in. They asked me in briefly to see if I could get him to stop struggling. He could only focus on me for seconds at a time and then his eyes would roll back.
the xray techs came with the portable machine but by then the nurses and dr wouldn't let them in to get the pic as his heart rate was extremely abnormal. my view of the room only allowed me to see his lower body.
then I saw his legs start to convulse and the nurse jump on the bed to administer CPR... Joe's father was by the door and saw them plunge the epi needle into his heart. That was the first time... we were all in the chapel when it happened again, the cardiologist told us.
cardiologist was waiting for his team to get there and then and IMMEDIATE balloon angioplasty was done. The artery that feeds the front of the heart was 100% blocked. they have a balloon pump in for 3 days and he's heavily sedated to keep him asleep and not fighting him.. also restrained still.
there was the absolute slightest change yesterday in the right direction with his positive response to a bp med that is keeping his blood pressure at a normal level. When they went thru the surgery his BP was 60/20. they had to fight to keep him alive.
he is still in severely critical condition and may still not make it. However last night i went to say good bye when the sedation was lifting slightly and he responded to me ( still has breathing tube in) and was able to squeeze my hand. hoping its the start of a good recovery.
tomorrow or tuesday they should be taking the balloon pump out and i'm nervous about that as that is whats helping his heart not work as hard so it can recover right now.
please pray... thats whats gotten him so far right now... the heart attack is one of several massive issues (kidneys have shut down right now) and its a miracle he's still fighting
whats folllowed is a nightmare. Ambulance came and took him so fast that I had to yell to them on where they were taking him ( 3 or 4 local hospitals could have been it ).
got to the ER and couldn't even see him as the room was packed. Had to listen to nurses begging for an ICU room as he was critical.
nurse came out to speak with me and said he was severely ketoacidodic and they also needed to put a breathing tube in. They asked me in briefly to see if I could get him to stop struggling. He could only focus on me for seconds at a time and then his eyes would roll back.
the xray techs came with the portable machine but by then the nurses and dr wouldn't let them in to get the pic as his heart rate was extremely abnormal. my view of the room only allowed me to see his lower body.
then I saw his legs start to convulse and the nurse jump on the bed to administer CPR... Joe's father was by the door and saw them plunge the epi needle into his heart. That was the first time... we were all in the chapel when it happened again, the cardiologist told us.
cardiologist was waiting for his team to get there and then and IMMEDIATE balloon angioplasty was done. The artery that feeds the front of the heart was 100% blocked. they have a balloon pump in for 3 days and he's heavily sedated to keep him asleep and not fighting him.. also restrained still.
there was the absolute slightest change yesterday in the right direction with his positive response to a bp med that is keeping his blood pressure at a normal level. When they went thru the surgery his BP was 60/20. they had to fight to keep him alive.
he is still in severely critical condition and may still not make it. However last night i went to say good bye when the sedation was lifting slightly and he responded to me ( still has breathing tube in) and was able to squeeze my hand. hoping its the start of a good recovery.
tomorrow or tuesday they should be taking the balloon pump out and i'm nervous about that as that is whats helping his heart not work as hard so it can recover right now.
please pray... thats whats gotten him so far right now... the heart attack is one of several massive issues (kidneys have shut down right now) and its a miracle he's still fighting
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Strong women need help too
My mom has had a companion for over 20 years. Companion is her word as she doesn't feel comfortable with 'boyfriend' at her age.
He has been ill for several months and in a nursing home. This weekend he took a serious turn for the worse and after 3 days in ICU has finally passed on and is at peace. My mom has shouldered all the responsibility for this alone as his son that used to be in contact with him, has not returned any calls.
My mom will have an appointment today with the funeral home for the paperwork part (Joe and I have been in touch with the funeral home all weekend so she didn't have to be) and she thought she'd just go alone. Hah! I stayed home and away from the hospital to take care of things otherwise for her that needed doing, but I will not let her go to this alone. I asked her if she would let me go alone and she said NO WAY.. of course, I then asked why she thought I would let her go alone. I told her that she has 2 choices.. either she meets me here and we go from my job, or I meet her there and thats that.
He has been ill for several months and in a nursing home. This weekend he took a serious turn for the worse and after 3 days in ICU has finally passed on and is at peace. My mom has shouldered all the responsibility for this alone as his son that used to be in contact with him, has not returned any calls.
My mom will have an appointment today with the funeral home for the paperwork part (Joe and I have been in touch with the funeral home all weekend so she didn't have to be) and she thought she'd just go alone. Hah! I stayed home and away from the hospital to take care of things otherwise for her that needed doing, but I will not let her go to this alone. I asked her if she would let me go alone and she said NO WAY.. of course, I then asked why she thought I would let her go alone. I told her that she has 2 choices.. either she meets me here and we go from my job, or I meet her there and thats that.
Monday, September 6, 2010
The warm fuzzy feeling
Our previous home was a joy in the cooler months. Added to that was Joe's reticense on paying for enough fuel (oil or wood) to heat the home properly. We tended to live like polar bears .. or at least it felt like that. I won my battles with the wood stove regularly to make sure we were warm enough. It also was so drafty that as soon as it got cooler, we started bundling up. The 'master bedroom' generally leveled out around 55 degrees without the space heater. Brrrrrrr. We had gotten used to it, but our parents worried about us. JP was always kept warm. if we had a time with really cold house temps we put on the space heaters as well.
One of the things we looked for in a new place was heat included, which we found. Our new landlords keep the temp at 70 degrees in a locked thermostat, which is fine by me. Last night the temps dipped to a chilly 44 degrees outside. In our bedroom we had one window partially open ( an inch or so) and a window fan in the other window. I woke up this morning and it was 65 degrees in the bedroom - yay! finally a house that will keep us warm!
One of the things we looked for in a new place was heat included, which we found. Our new landlords keep the temp at 70 degrees in a locked thermostat, which is fine by me. Last night the temps dipped to a chilly 44 degrees outside. In our bedroom we had one window partially open ( an inch or so) and a window fan in the other window. I woke up this morning and it was 65 degrees in the bedroom - yay! finally a house that will keep us warm!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Peanu't Weekly Wednesday - Ahhhh room to hide...errrr I mean move
So the new place is pretty awesome. My first night there Mom will tell you I actually pranced down the hallway.. yes I can prance. I love that I have so much room and if I need some time to myself, well there are plenty of places to go. My favorite is under the end table in the living room. Quiet, and out of the way of that cat and JP.
Now I do have one complaint. The neighbors.. the 4 legged ones. I think every home in our little 'commune' has at least one dog. First off this means I can't be free roaming...sigh, not happy about that. Second are the 'chatty' ones. Especially our non-commune neighbor to the left of our house. EVERY morning between 6-6:15AM they let him out. EVERY morning, he starts barking at NOTHING right away.
I of course bark back to tell him to be quiet... I'm slowly learning that this is not considered polite by Mom who doesn't appreciate my alarm clock tendencies. I think I need to sleep with puppy earphones.. do they make them in Corgi size?
Now I do have one complaint. The neighbors.. the 4 legged ones. I think every home in our little 'commune' has at least one dog. First off this means I can't be free roaming...sigh, not happy about that. Second are the 'chatty' ones. Especially our non-commune neighbor to the left of our house. EVERY morning between 6-6:15AM they let him out. EVERY morning, he starts barking at NOTHING right away.
I of course bark back to tell him to be quiet... I'm slowly learning that this is not considered polite by Mom who doesn't appreciate my alarm clock tendencies. I think I need to sleep with puppy earphones.. do they make them in Corgi size?
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Settling in
Have to admit I'm quite tired of unpacking. Seems as if it will never end lately, lol. However things are going so well here.
Our last home was in the middle of 2 hay fields with close neighbors, but not on top of us. For the last year or so 2 of those houses were essentially empty as they were being sold, so we more or less lived alone out there. Odd to think we had as many problems as we did there.
Thursday Joe went to remove the last of the trash and pick up a few remaining large items, one of which was our new grill. Would you believe the day ended with Joe calling the cops because someone stole our grill sometime btwn Sunday and Thursday?! Thankfully one of the neighbors in one of the houses being sold was there.. the cops questioned him and he all of a sudden remembered that there was a new grill in the garage that morning next to the lawnmower.. uh huh. We can't press charges as we got the grill back. Still not quite sure of the logic of that as the cop had to go and question this guy so that he 'remembered' the new grill out of nowhere. Ehh whatever.. it's safe with us now.
So far the new place is a completely different scenario. First off we're in close proximity to 3 other houses and I think there is a total of 5 or 6 families all together. Great thing though is the kids. JP had an absolute blast last night playing outside with them all. Joe was supervising, but thats ok.. gave me time to clean the kitchen without everyone underfoot. Today we had a problem with a truck Joe borrowed to do the last of the work on Thursday. It wouldn't start. Well one of the neighbors rebuilds cars and sells them so he was helping Joe get it started. First they thought it was battery cables being loose - nope, then the starter was the problem. Well our one neighbor gets under the truck and starts hammering at the starter I guess while telling Joe to turn the engine over. Brave, trusting man, lol. However while doing this he sees sparks and they realized the starter isn't shot.. its got loose wires... off this guy who barely knows us goes and gets what he needs to fix it.
heck in the old place I couldn't even get them to replace a washer on a faucet that was too tight for me to loosen.
Tomorrow I'm quite excited to go shopping with my mom for my dining room and living room drapes.. hoping they absorb some of the echo sounds we have from the hardwood floors, lol. I'll eventually post pics.. once the boxes are gone I think.
Our last home was in the middle of 2 hay fields with close neighbors, but not on top of us. For the last year or so 2 of those houses were essentially empty as they were being sold, so we more or less lived alone out there. Odd to think we had as many problems as we did there.
Thursday Joe went to remove the last of the trash and pick up a few remaining large items, one of which was our new grill. Would you believe the day ended with Joe calling the cops because someone stole our grill sometime btwn Sunday and Thursday?! Thankfully one of the neighbors in one of the houses being sold was there.. the cops questioned him and he all of a sudden remembered that there was a new grill in the garage that morning next to the lawnmower.. uh huh. We can't press charges as we got the grill back. Still not quite sure of the logic of that as the cop had to go and question this guy so that he 'remembered' the new grill out of nowhere. Ehh whatever.. it's safe with us now.
So far the new place is a completely different scenario. First off we're in close proximity to 3 other houses and I think there is a total of 5 or 6 families all together. Great thing though is the kids. JP had an absolute blast last night playing outside with them all. Joe was supervising, but thats ok.. gave me time to clean the kitchen without everyone underfoot. Today we had a problem with a truck Joe borrowed to do the last of the work on Thursday. It wouldn't start. Well one of the neighbors rebuilds cars and sells them so he was helping Joe get it started. First they thought it was battery cables being loose - nope, then the starter was the problem. Well our one neighbor gets under the truck and starts hammering at the starter I guess while telling Joe to turn the engine over. Brave, trusting man, lol. However while doing this he sees sparks and they realized the starter isn't shot.. its got loose wires... off this guy who barely knows us goes and gets what he needs to fix it.
heck in the old place I couldn't even get them to replace a washer on a faucet that was too tight for me to loosen.
Tomorrow I'm quite excited to go shopping with my mom for my dining room and living room drapes.. hoping they absorb some of the echo sounds we have from the hardwood floors, lol. I'll eventually post pics.. once the boxes are gone I think.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
New home, new start, old routines
August has been...interesting. In mid July we were told our home ( we rented) was finally being sold and that the closing was on 9/30/10. Ok no biggie and the new home process was started. Then, on July 31 we rcvd a letter stating the new owners wanted us out in 30 days. Nice. I thought that couldn't happen until the closing? Funny part is the closer we got to leaving the worse the house was getting fast. Almost like our things were holding it up? lol. I know the new owners are going to do a lot of modifications.. i hope they are really prepared for that house.. as far as I know there was never an inspection... and I think an inspection would all but condemn it.
It really was not a hardship to leave that house of horrors. The only reason we stayed so long was to improve our credit score before searching, so that we would have good options. So much for waiting for a better time, lol. After 2 very long and argumentative weeks we did find a place we both liked. For the last week I've been doing the bulk of moving while working as well. I'm not surprised that I'm so tired, lol.
The new place is bigger and to my joy.. has a dining room! Yay!!!! no more 3foot sq kitchen 'table' where you only had room for plates and cups. I also have a kitchen and bathroom circa 1950's complete with avocado green oven and pink tub and sink, lol. No more carpets, all hardwood floors and just nicely laid out and roomy. JP can run in circles from living room - to kitchen- to dining room - to living room and he's loving it, lol. His room is huge and I'm loving it as ALLLLL his toys except the train table will be in there.
It's also only a few miles from my mom... instead of being 30 minutes or so.. I'm now only about 6 minutes. She's alone now as her companion is having a lot of serious health issues and he's now in a nursing home. I like that I'm closer ..just in case. After last years huge snowstorms, I hated being so far away and not able to help... being this close ( i drive by on my way to and from work) makes me feel better.
In a previous life, many years ago, I had a small apartment with a dining room... and at the time was well known for calling people up and saying 'hey! I made some new recipes, c'mon over". Never huge parties, but frequent entertaining. I've missed that with the old house. It was just not easy to entertain with more then 1-2 extra people making it feel over crowded.
The new place is currently decorated in Early American Box.. but I knew I'd be doing an official 'Sunday Dinner' tonight, even if just for us. I had found a gorgeous dining table on craigslist and was set to go. We had my IL's up and they wanted to give us more time to settle in, but I told them I'd be making dinner anyway and there was more then enough. It was so nice to entertain again, lol...although I did forget to turn the oven off for a bit and couldn't figure out why the kitchen was still so hot, lol.
Thats another nice thing about this apartment. Heat and hot water are included- yippee! in the old house I all but stopped cooking because the hot water leak in the bathtub drained the propane ( water heater was a propane heated version). Our monthly bill was about $150 a month for propane. Now I can cook all I want with the propane.
oh and for any that know my stories about the kitchen in the old place? there is NO CARPETING in this kitchen! I have a normal kitchen floor again and its great :)
tonight I made:
an appetizer tray of:celery and blue cheese dressing/assorted olives/tomato and feta bruschetta
main course was:
lasagna
tossed salad
peas and onions with prosciutto
dessert was brownies and cookies provided by my MIL
it was a very nice dinner and Joe enjoyed it so much he suggested his parents come up every Sunday - yeaaaah.. both his mom and I looked at him and told him he was nuts, lol. I do however plan to have a nice Sunday dinner each week unless we are invited out otherwise, lol.
my meal plan for next Sunday is in progress.... right now it's:
Crusted Salmon with mustard
and that's about it at the moment, lol. I want to avoid stopping for any additional ingredients so thats part of my challenge. I think my side dish will be a basic tossed salad with another pasta salad of some sort. I tossed the rice I had at the old place... but rice is inexpensive. Oh wait! I have a seasoned tube of wild rice! that's a perfect compliment to salmon. I've invite my mom over for next week and think I'll also ask my SIL and niece. The piece of salmon i have is huge, so thats not a problem. there is a farmers market down the road on thurs evenings...maybe i'll find an inexpensive veggie side dish idea.
It really was not a hardship to leave that house of horrors. The only reason we stayed so long was to improve our credit score before searching, so that we would have good options. So much for waiting for a better time, lol. After 2 very long and argumentative weeks we did find a place we both liked. For the last week I've been doing the bulk of moving while working as well. I'm not surprised that I'm so tired, lol.
The new place is bigger and to my joy.. has a dining room! Yay!!!! no more 3foot sq kitchen 'table' where you only had room for plates and cups. I also have a kitchen and bathroom circa 1950's complete with avocado green oven and pink tub and sink, lol. No more carpets, all hardwood floors and just nicely laid out and roomy. JP can run in circles from living room - to kitchen- to dining room - to living room and he's loving it, lol. His room is huge and I'm loving it as ALLLLL his toys except the train table will be in there.
It's also only a few miles from my mom... instead of being 30 minutes or so.. I'm now only about 6 minutes. She's alone now as her companion is having a lot of serious health issues and he's now in a nursing home. I like that I'm closer ..just in case. After last years huge snowstorms, I hated being so far away and not able to help... being this close ( i drive by on my way to and from work) makes me feel better.
In a previous life, many years ago, I had a small apartment with a dining room... and at the time was well known for calling people up and saying 'hey! I made some new recipes, c'mon over". Never huge parties, but frequent entertaining. I've missed that with the old house. It was just not easy to entertain with more then 1-2 extra people making it feel over crowded.
The new place is currently decorated in Early American Box.. but I knew I'd be doing an official 'Sunday Dinner' tonight, even if just for us. I had found a gorgeous dining table on craigslist and was set to go. We had my IL's up and they wanted to give us more time to settle in, but I told them I'd be making dinner anyway and there was more then enough. It was so nice to entertain again, lol...although I did forget to turn the oven off for a bit and couldn't figure out why the kitchen was still so hot, lol.
Thats another nice thing about this apartment. Heat and hot water are included- yippee! in the old house I all but stopped cooking because the hot water leak in the bathtub drained the propane ( water heater was a propane heated version). Our monthly bill was about $150 a month for propane. Now I can cook all I want with the propane.
oh and for any that know my stories about the kitchen in the old place? there is NO CARPETING in this kitchen! I have a normal kitchen floor again and its great :)
tonight I made:
an appetizer tray of:celery and blue cheese dressing/assorted olives/tomato and feta bruschetta
main course was:
lasagna
tossed salad
peas and onions with prosciutto
dessert was brownies and cookies provided by my MIL
it was a very nice dinner and Joe enjoyed it so much he suggested his parents come up every Sunday - yeaaaah.. both his mom and I looked at him and told him he was nuts, lol. I do however plan to have a nice Sunday dinner each week unless we are invited out otherwise, lol.
my meal plan for next Sunday is in progress.... right now it's:
Crusted Salmon with mustard
and that's about it at the moment, lol. I want to avoid stopping for any additional ingredients so thats part of my challenge. I think my side dish will be a basic tossed salad with another pasta salad of some sort. I tossed the rice I had at the old place... but rice is inexpensive. Oh wait! I have a seasoned tube of wild rice! that's a perfect compliment to salmon. I've invite my mom over for next week and think I'll also ask my SIL and niece. The piece of salmon i have is huge, so thats not a problem. there is a farmers market down the road on thurs evenings...maybe i'll find an inexpensive veggie side dish idea.
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