Friday, September 16, 2011

Today I am.... angry

I'm angry because he ignored all the dr's, all of us, all the warning signs just because he didn't like being diabetic.

I'm angry because I can't take time off work easily.. yet everyone else can.

I'm angry because I have to always be in control and be strong and pretend that things aren't as bad as they are. Sorry folks.. just because he's not expected to die.. he's still in ICU and it is still bad, he's not cured.. its just a matter of time.

I need certain things right now and just can't get them because it doesn't meet anything else that anyone else needs. Things that people will assume the worst of me for even though they are simple basic things. Tonight I had a girls night planned. I can't go. I need friends .. I need to laugh... I need to pretend that nothing is seriously wrong in my life right now.. I need normal. ... but heaven forbid I have a few hours to myself while he's in the hospital again.I need to not have to explain to JP that Daddy can't come home right now. I need to have a break in something.

I don't know what else to say except I'm angry today.

1 comment:

Sara Hammond said...

My heart is with you. I can only imagine. Someday, maybe I will take the time to let you know that I can sympathize, but I wish I could be there to help, and I hope that you can find your balance. {{hugs}}