on a soapbox

sometimes i can let things go easily. other times I can't - just ask Joe, lol.

i don't know why this one thing is upsetting me so much this week.... maybe it's just the weather and that I need spring. Anyway, on to my actual topic.

What ever happened to simply accepting that you are wrong and offer a simple apology. This is in regards to a specific thing with me. Raised voices and accusations that are out of line.

The one that set me off today was this:

we rent from a lovely older lady whose health has become a concern. She's no longer living in her house across the patio from ours. a week and a half ago we had a really nasty winter storm. I was trying to get to work... having to take JP with me unexpectedly.. Joe was stuck at work and I HAD to be at work that do to work on a project. I did not shovel the walkway. For the first time in THREE YEARS! ok, ok so there was one other time I was not able to do the shoveling. Pardon me but I was in the freaking hospital giving birth to my son. When I came home from the hospital there was a huge ice flow in front of my front door. This was to be climbed over.. not something you could step over. Yep I was thrilled to be climbing over this 36 hours after delivering JP. With stitches in a delicate area that was involved in walking. No Joe coulnd't handle it prior to me coming home because it had frozen solid before he got home and uhmmmm.. Joe kind of wanted to be in the hospital with JP and I. Our friend and JP's godfather came to see JP and chopped a path thru the ice. I didn't realize how angry I was still about this until what happened with this particular episiode. Last Saturday relatives were over helping our landlord pack up. The one said to Joe "What? You couldn't even take care of the walkway?" Joe let it pass, I was fuming. To me that implies that I've never taken care of it. How was I to know that our landlord was going to come back that soon after the storm?? Oh and have I mentioned that maybe the walkway wasn't done but neither was the driveway. The huge, now rut filled driveway that bounced you around trying to leave and come back. I know I'm rambling, bear with me. Earlier this week the person that made the comment to Joe was back getting furniture. I stopped him to explain that it was only the second time it hadn't been done, but I was cut off twice because he didn't want to discuss it and because he was in a hurry. I don't care. The comment did not need to be made in that way. I was then told he'd drop off extra sand and salt for us to use. This was said in a nice manner, not condescending or blaming tone. Whatever, he didn't care to talk to me for 2 minutes so I just stressed to him and his helper that the walkway issue was an issue of 2 times in 3 years. Well yesterday there was a lovely snow storm. Driving home from work was tough. I get home and I'm in a mood over the walkway and driveway in general. Oh and for the record I never minded doing the walkway for the 2 houses unless I was pressed for time. I did it and I'd like to think I did a darn good job. I pulled in the driveway yesterday and immediately shoveled the walkway again... then got mad and did the driveway. this is not a huge driveway but is wide. I was out there for an hour and didn't realize how soaked my hair was until i went in (nope... no hood) I was fuming as I knew we wouldn't be plowed out by the excuse of a grandson who is supposed to handle it. Today the same relative and his wife plus a couple of others were over. Joe left for work and the wife called out to him and they all talked for a few minutes. I called Joe a little later and asked what was up. I'd be fighting mad if there was another complaint. Joe made sure they knew that I shoveled the driveway by hand. The husband was so sweet (sarcastic) told Joe that he'd have a snowblower dropped off for me. How nice... just what I want. NOT. I want the driveway done in time for Joe and I to work and an apology over the walkway comment. Then as I'm in the livingroom the grandson has a friend riding around on an ATV with a plow attached!!! where was this yesterday?! I walked Peanut, said hello to the wife and turned my back on the rest of them.

other times this bothers me is when people lash out at me and don't stop at the inital comment or want me to give them an answer that they like. Do NOT yell at me if it;s not my fault. If you do then have the decency and courtesy to come back and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you" Really? is it that hard to do? I manage ot apologize when i do it? why do others think it's acceptable to do to me?

I no longer let it slide. Yes you may be having an off day, you may be stressed... but I am not everyone's verbal punching bag! I have off days as well - today being one of them.I think it's time as a society to go back to old time manners. If you are wrong say I'm sorry.